"I hope you know what you are doing..."

“I hope you know what you’re doing…”

This is the response I got this weekend from someone when they learned we are in the process of adoption.  So what did I respond with… “I think we do.”  This response is kind of funny now that I think about it.  Do we ever really know what we are doing?  I usually don’t.  Sometimes I think I have a really great idea and it blows up in my face.  For instance, just this afternoon, I cleaned up from lunch, began to prepare to make chocolate dipped pretzels with Eva, and put some bacon in a frying pan so that I would have that ready for dinner tonight.  Seemed like a good idea at the time but a friend called to see if they could come by for a moment and I of course said “yes” and then before I knew it, Eva was burning her hand on melted chocolate, Eli was screaming, and the bacon was burning…all in front of our guest.  I just laughed when she gave me a hug before she left and said “I hope that your day gets better!”  I told her, “Oh this isn’t a bad day, this is pretty normal!”  This story is for anyone out there who ever thinks that I have everything “together.” 

The truth is, I have absolutely no idea if we really know what we are doing.  All I know is that we are following God’s plan for us right now and I am overjoyed in walking in obedience to him.  We could have said “no” but we would have been hypocrites.  We have both accepted Jesus Christ as our savior and in doing so have chose to die to ourselves and live for him.  We have decided to say “no” to what the world thinks is normal and to embrace God’s plan for us.  We are choosing to adopt a child because God has adopted us.  We live in this world and love those around us because he first came and died.  We are in no way perfect people, we are just trying to live out what he has asked of us.  I am going to try to memorize that for my next response J   

I have been reading a few books lately about attachment disorders and various other things that can “go wrong” when we bring our child home.  These books have started to make me anxious about bringing our child home and since God’s timing is perfect, he had a perfect word for me.  Two Sunday’s ago, our associate pastor at Summerdean was preaching on fear and his question to us was, “If you knew without a doubt that something would work out well, what would you do?”  My immediate thought went to adoption.  My fear is that this will not work out well.  The more I read about attachment disorders, the more nervous I get.  The more people who tell us that our child will be black and how difficult it will be to raise them as white parents, the more ill-equipped I feel.  The more people who pose the question,” Do you really think you can do this?” the more I question whether we really can.  But the reason I feel this way is because I am focusing on the problem instead of Jesus.  A dear friend reminded me of this passage earlier this week…

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” Matthew 14:25-33
Jesus made Peter capable of walking on water, but what happened?  Peter took his eyes off of Jesus and began to focus on his circumstances and then he began to sink.  This reminded me to keep my focus on Jesus and never to doubt his plan. 

So, No, I don’t know exactly what I am doing and I am not sure it is going to turn out perfect, but I do know that my God has promised this…

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

Since I know that he has called us to do this, I am not worried about whether it is going to work out well.  It is God’s plan and it will work out the way he wants it to.